Thanks in part to a captivating infomercial that plays on loop during the hours we’re most vulnerable, America believes Pajama Jeans will solve their blue-jean-induced woes: the poor fit and the “uncomfortable” denim that usually come from wearing jeans that are simply too small. (“But I looked really good in these in 2002!”)
This is not the revolutionary product it is promoted to be; they’re simply slightly more tailored sweatpants. For $39.95, you could buy jeans that fit you. You will not look as good as the girl on the box. If you buy these, know that you’re just one step away from a sleeping-bag-size bag of off-brand Cheetos, a beanbag chair, and a surrender of all free will and purpose.
God save America.
The Pajama Jean informercial: